A Visit To Giant Land

E.G. Foley enjoys Victorian Travel Writing. Click to find out more about the genre! This image is part of the overleaf page for Gulliver's Travels by Jonathan Swift.

Today we are honored to bring you a special guest post from none other than Jake's cousin, Archie. And so, without further ado, we give you...the boy genius!
 
(((E and G applauding wildly)))

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Archie Bradford’s Field Notes
From An Expedition to Giant Land
(with his Cousin, Jake, the Earl of Griffon, 1876)

We left England on a grand luxury steamship and crossed the North Sea in June of this year to attend the Invention Convention. There I was scheduled to unveil my new flying machine (aka The Pigeon) to my fellow scientists from all around the world. Three days out of port, our ship steamed into the beautiful Oslo Fjord. Excitement ran high as the four of us (my cousin the Earl, my sister Isabelle, her companion, Miss O’Dell, and myself) stood on deck, awed by the beauty of Norway and most eager to see what this ancient homeland of the Vikings might have in store for us...

From Core Knowledge UK, 2nd Year. We assume you know which blob is England.

Little did I know then that, instead of enjoying the company of my scientific colleagues such as my dear (albeit odd) friend, Nik Tesla, I would soon be snatched up and carried off by a Norse giant.

One hardly anticipates such things.
 
Thankfully, my cousin Jake and his Gryphon came to my rescue. But Jake soon became determined to see the wayward giant home to his native country of Jugenheim. 

I did my best to talk my cousin out of this mad scheme. What sort of lunatic willingly goes to Giant Land, after all? As usual, however, Jake would not be persuaded. 

Since I could hardly let someone who is like a brother to me undertake such a dangerous journey alone, against my better judgment, I resolved to go along. 

What follows are my field notes based on what limited research on the giant race that I was able to do along the way. I hope you find it interesting.

Best Regards,

The Honourable Archimedes James Bradford

Our Route

Latitude and Longitude: REDACTED (for security purposes)

I am forbidden from divulging the exact location of the great Scandinavian tree of legend, Yggdrasil, in whose vast branches the Nine Worlds are tucked away like so many bird nests, including the giants’ realm of Jugenheim (pronounced YOO-gan-hime, the J is silent). But I deem it safe to note that the tree stood on a mountaintop one day’s walk from the shores of Oslo Fjord. We had to cross an enchanted wood and deal with the frightening guardians the Tree, REDACTED. (No spoilers!)

Click to view larger. The world tree Yggdrasil. At the foot of the tree is a well, which is presumably Urðarbrunnr. The illustration appears in a section of Grímnismál labeled "Om Yggdrasil" (Danish: "about (or "around", depending on context) Yggdrasil"). 1895. Wikipedia Commons.

The Race of Giants

When we arrived in Jugenheim, I admit I was distressed by the memory of old fairytales about giants devouring humans (Englishmen in particular) or baking them into pies. While I later learned that some giant groups do consider humans a great delicacy, they are considered barbarian tribes even among their own kind. Fortunately, such ancient practices are greatly frowned upon among the Norse giants of Jugenheim. 

This was just the beginning of many falsehoods told about giants, I discovered. For example, they do not actually say Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum (which was a great disappointment to me, personally). The Norse giants regarded my request to utter those famous giant words as rather offensive. They do not like being stereotyped any more than humans do,
apparently.

SIZE

The average adult male giant stands between 25 and 28 feet tall. The females are slightly shorter, though some are the same size as the males. We met several giant children (one of my most terrifying experiences, actually) and I estimated their comparative heights as
follows:
Female, age 5:      10 feet tall
Female, age 10:    15 feet tall
Male, age 12:        18 feet tall 

From Omniology.com. Chart of relative sizes of giant human bones that archeologists have found.

Culture

Having progressed to a medieval level of development, the giants live in clan structures, ruled by a chief (or “king”) with the help of his warrior knights. The king and his family reside in a semi-communal great hall in the center of their medieval-looking village. 

The Viking-style great hall is a multi-purpose space which can serve as anything from the site of their frequent feasts to the village courtroom, where the very hands-on king personally adjudicates legal disputes between villagers and other such matters. Their surprisingly democratic law code was heavily influenced by the Vikings, who loved to vote on serious matters together as a tribe; likewise, their ideas of meritocracy in the succession of their kings. A son of the chief may not necessarily inherit the automatic right to rule if he is not found worthy by the people. Female giants, like Viking women (but largely UNlike Victorian ladies), are even allowed to own their own property. 

Indeed, the giants of Jugenheim were so greatly influenced centuries ago by the Viking peoples that they even have a huge oak tree growing up through the center of the great hall in homage to Yggdrasil and the Norse gods, whom they still worship. (They are particularly fond of Thor, whom we also met).

Around the great hall one finds other dwellings and artisan workshops: blacksmith’s forge, healer’s hut, the tanner making leather, the chandler with his candle forms, and so on. Outside the village are vast expanses of Norse giant farms, where they grow crops from grains to orchards and also raise livestock—all animals being, again, five times larger than in our world. Cattle, sheep, goats, chickens, geese. Only the warriors seem to have horses. Plows are usually pulled by the native musk ox (which we were can be very aggressive in the wild, but no match for a giant who desires to tame one). Giants on these farms are even more independent than the village folk. They all make their own clothes from cloth spun at home, butcher their own meat, and bake their own bread. 
 
With few poaching laws unlike in England back home, any giant is permitted to hunt game in the surrounding forests. But they do have to be careful out there of the resident
dragon.

Observations on the Nature of the People

Giants are surprisingly competitive, especially the warriors, who are especially fond of boasting. (Jake fit right in.) They, as well as the royal family, are and must be brave to the point of almost being foolhardy. It is the only way to win the full respect of the people. 

Giants of all walks of life pride themselves on their toughness. They are generally a simple folk, hardworking and fascinated by stories and songs. They can be gullible, but they love jokes. They most enjoy crude humor; anything with a burp or a fart brings uproarious laughter from males and females alike.

Perhaps we are not so different from them after all.

The giants are most proud of their catapult. Photo credit Clarinetlover - seen in the town hall of Mercato San Severino, Italy via Wikipedia Commons.